WEDNESDAY MORNING MELTDOWN.

Ok, I had a little meltdown moment this morning. Some would call it a panic attack, breakdown, crying jag. Whatever! I prefer meltdown. All this and I wasn’t even out of bed yet.

John and I are in the midst of several changes in our life.

We are putting our house on the market, and looking for another. We have a new puppy. (Whom I acquired when I was having a temporary insanity moment.) My daughter is going through a very difficult time, one is moving, and I don’t get to talk to my son often enough. And we are going on vacation.

I woke up this morning and it all hit me. What if we sell the house and can’t find a place to buy that is what we want and can afford. What if the dogs cause my house sitter to run away while we are gone? What if we can’t afford any of this? What if John should not close the store for a week? What if they show the house and the dogs eat the people? What if I can’t get everything done in time to go?

It all sounds silly now, but this morning it had me really stressed out. It was like I knew I had to get out of bed, but I did not know where to start or what to do first when I got up.
But I did get up, and got my first cup of coffee. Then deciding I needed a few more minutes to gather my thoughts, went and got back in bed. I began to pray and then opened my Bible. As always, God is faithful to lead me to where He wants me to read. Sometimes it is a chapter, sometimes several versus, sometimes, just a line.

He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. Colossians 1:15

WOW. I needed to think about this a minute…
He is the creator of the universe, He is my sustainer. In Him, everything is held together and prevented from falling into chaos.
Chaos… that is what I am feeling. So, this must mean I am trying to control all this. I am not letting God sustain me, protect me. I need to trust Him.
.
It is so easy to lose focus. I have had my granddaughter here with me this week. We have had a grand time. We have laughed and played and talked. It has been wonderful. But I also realized in my effort to keep things exciting for her this week, I have neglected my time with God. For me it only takes a day or so of not communicated with Him in a real personal way to get out of sync, lose focus, and… have a meltdown.

Thank you God, for reminding me just how much I need you!