Saturday, September 1, 2007

Wow, it has been a month and what a month it has been. Lots of things have been going on, some good, some not so good.
I experienced a hurt this week. Hurt feelings. Feelings- defined, means: something experienced physically or emotionally, something felt emotionally.

The thing about feelings is there are no right or wrong feelings. They are just your feelings. Now someone might say, "well you should not feel that way", and THAT always throws me over the edge. (I am usually walking along the edge anyway). The way you feel about something comes from all sorts of places... your past hurts and perceptions, your spiritual place, your education, your total emotional makeup from Day 1.

So when my feelings were hurt this week, I had to deal with it. To top it off, I was angry with myself for feeling the way I did and that only made things worse. So I did the only thing I know to do when I don't know what to do. I took it to GOD. But not until I wallowed in it for a day.

Then I went to the lake and thought I would have it out with Him. The first trip around the lake, I moaned and grumbled and really let Him have it about the unfairness of the situation, and why couldn't people just be honest and considerate and you know the whole "why me" thing.

The second trip around the lake, I just cried and cried, then cried out. I realized that this small little issue that hurt me was coming from some long ago sense of injustice. Once I realized this, I began to pray for God to just take it away. Make the hurt and anger disappear. I knew by now that it really was my problem and I just had to deal with it, but still wanted God to take the hurt away, NOW!

Well I wish I could say that by the end of that second trip around the lake I felt better, and God had miraculously made it all go away. But He didn't. I couldn't go around the lake again, it was getting too dark. So I went home a little discouraged. But I can tell you this morning, I really feel He didn't take it all away then, because HE wanted me to read and pray.

I have been reading a book, and at the end of the book it tells you to practice praying scripture. It gives you a guideline to do so and this is what God placed in front of me to pray. Not all of it of course, but some of it...

In my distress I call to you Lord; I call out to my God. From Your temple You hear my voice; my cry comes to Your ears. O, my Strength, come quickly to help me. reach down from on high and take hold of me; draw me out of deep waters. Rescue me from my powerful enemy and from foes, who are too strong for me. Rescue me Lord. Search me O God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. I confess that You are my rock, my Fortress, and my Deliverer; - save me from anything that seeks to destroy me, With Your help I can advance against a troop; with You I can scale a wall. AS for You my Father, Your way is perfect, Your word is flawless. You are a shield for me. If You are for me, who can be against me? You know the plans You have for me, plans to prosper me and to not harm me. Plans to give me HOPE and a future. Thank you God, for your willingness to lead me to triumph .

After praying this scripture you are to add your own words. at first I could not think of any, I mean that about says it all. I have never really thought of praying scripture, but I liked it.

But being one to follow directions, and the book clearly read; add your own words, so,I did.

God, why didn't you let me read all this before I did all those laps around the lake this week, while crying I might add. Oh, I guess that was for my own good also. Thank you.

What I learned from this experience is:
Never tell someone they should not feel a certain way. You never know from what depths those feelings may be coming from.

Even the small hurts that we may experience are not too small for God.

When you don't know what to pray, pray scripture.